Applause for the Wallflower

First of all, I can't believe it's almost been a month since I've posted on here. I guess in essence, nothing's really been too terrible for me to be posting frequently (which is usually the main reason I write, to express any major discontent...ments (is that a word??)) Actually, everything's been quite the opposite. Life has been undeniably blissful recently and it's doing me wonders.

So I was thinking just a few moments ago how my most favorite time of the day is at night when I get my finally call of the night from Myles. As much as I enjoy sleep, I'd much rather talk to him than anything else. But what I've realized is that it's not just the talking that makes it my favorite time of the day; it's the fact that he's there. Ever since the beginning, I've said the same thing: he could be dead asleep and his snores could put me into a state of tranquility, gently laying me into my own cradle of peace. And each morning when I wake up, or in the middle of the night when I realize the other line is much too silent, I'm disappointed each time I find my phone's died and we're no longer connected by the technology that holds us together, or that I stupidly rolled over in my sleep and my phone's shut closed, disrupting the line. Like right now for example, I'm typing this with him sitting less than a foot away from me, sleeping soundly...the phone, that is. But the fact that he's there, his presence, provides this sort of protection I find I often lack when I fall asleep "alone." In any case, I think you get the point.

It must be nice to be him...having an open book to my feelings and insight on many of the issues that run my mind. I mean all he has to do is click the bookmarked link, and there's my blog, right there for him to see. Sometimes I wish I had that from him... It's so much easier than having to ask him, and sometimes it's a little more beneficial to read it when he's talking to himself than when he's talking directly to me. I mean it's not like everyone's the "journaling type," but it would be nice to have the option open lol. But I guess the question is what would I have to read that he hasn't told me? Hmmm. That is the question.

In any case, the fact of the matter is that life is going quite smoothly for the time being. No major bumps in the road, no sudden pit falls. All things feel as if they are in place, in that orderly fashion as if God himself had hand-picked these circumstances for me telling me that this is my reward for sticking through everything that's hit me in the past. I'm so glad I'm not where I was a year ago. Come to think of it...it's been a year since...that. Boy oh boy, I am glad I'm not there anymore. I shudder to imagine what my life would be if I'd still been there. I'd be swimming in a sea of mediocrity, drowning in my own self-pity this I am sure. Oh, how Myles has saved me...how eternally indebted I am to him for showing me the good in a man's heart. And the most wonderful constituent about all of this: I am not alone. Ever.